How to ruin a DotA game?

This is freakin’ awesome in so many ways. 😀

BLINKING:

KEEPER OF THE GAY:
Use a blink dagger to blink to an unreachable spot with Ezalor. Summon an Ally and blink out. Follow up with LOLOLOL and rapidly ping his location.

HOMOSEXUAL SPIRIT:
Get QoP or AM and blink to an unreachable location. Have Venge swap with one of them. Lure an enemy nearby and then swap with that enemy. Spam LOL in allchat and then leave the game.

TINY TOSS TRAP:
Have someone blink to an unreachable location. Use Tiny to toss an enemy to that person. If you’re super fast, you can toss them at yourself and blink because it homes in on you. Nah, I’m kidding, that doesn’t work.

-DU:

GANG-BANE ELEMENTAL:
Have four friends play as Bane Elemental. Use Nightmare on the fifth player as soon has he gets out of the fountain. Repeat. If he does not leave immediately, compliment him on how well his mother raised him.

ZEUS, LORD OF FAGS:
Wait for the opponents to pick their heroes first. Upon hitting level 6, have one person countdown in allchat and then use ulti. After the initial team ulti, if they are still in the game, spam numbers in allchat.

SPECTRE, LORD OF LAGS:
Same as above. Only this time, spam dagger like none other after ulti

5 MAN

5 MAN PUSH:
Pick 5 summoners/AoE team effects. I like Furion/Witch Doctor/Dirge/Syllabear/Ezalor. 5 man push a lane while roleplaying as WWII soldiers on D-Day. This ALWAYS works in -EM.

5 MAN GANK:
Pick 5 stunners and gank bottom lane. Afterwards, continually roam around as a 5 man mob and gank enemies. Yell at the enemy team for not calling MIA every time you get a kill. After the enemy is significantly higher level than you, leave simultaneously. A variant of this is doing a 4 man gank and having one strong carry farm while the team ganks around.

5 MAN INSTAGIB:
Pick all windwalkers or nukers. Have the nukers get lothar’s and the windwalkers get Dagon. Use Weaver’s sentries or buy wards to see the enemy base. Whenever one is sufficiently away from a tower, windwalk to his location and 5-man nuke him.

5 MAN FOUNTAIN DIVERS:
Pick Void, Omni, Warlock, and the rest don’t matter (Syllabear isn’t bad). Get refresher on Omni. Eat your way into the enemy base and attack their fountain. You may have to make multiple trips. After the fountain is gone, camp their base. I’ve seen this done in a TDA. The Sentinels camped the fountain and tried to convince the enemy to deny their throne.

5 MAN TRIBUTE TO HANS2:
Pick Clinks and 3-4 item independent heroes. Have each one farm a Divine Rapier and give it to clinks. If clinks dies, simultaneously leave.

AXE

CALL MIA:
Go between the two enemy towers and tank all the creeps. As soon as you get killed, blame your team for not calling MIA, call them noobs, and leave.

LULZY BUILDS]

LEORIC REFRESHER ORB:
Self explanatory.

RIKIMARU LOTHAR’S:
Was more viable when Lothar’s was an agi item. Watch as a confused enemy wonders why their silence did not stop you from going invis.

BETRAYAL]
If you ever have 6 friends who want to play. Play as a betrayer on the enemy team.

FRUSTRATOR:
Shit talk your team the entire game and stand by idly in teamfights. Arrange for your friends to feed to you. When your team complains about you, have your friends tell them to stfu noob.

TOSS+STATS BUILD:
Continually toss your lanemate at the enemy tower. Claim that you meant to toss a creep. Toss allies at low health to deny them as well. This is the probably one of the best techniques because it has a very low leave
rate.

ALLCHAT IS GOD:
Constantly talk in allchat. When your team tells you to talk in allied chat, act confused.

FRIENDSHIP: At the beginning of the game arrange to meet at some neutral location with an enemy. Just stand there and chill. Refuse to attack anything and claim to be a pacifist.

ROLE-PLAYER
Roleplay as your hero. Best if you have 1 friend also doing the same on your side.

Leshrac: Recite emo poetry and talk about how tormented you are in allchat.

Broodmother: Constantly talk about how you love sucking the juices out of your enemies

Tiny/Naix/etc: Say “raaarrrgh” whenever anyone talks to you

Admiral Proudmoore: Tell people you want to crunchitize them and that you recently got a promotion. (or talk in a pirate accent)

Ogre Magi: Talk about how it’s awkward when you’re banging ogresses

Creepy Pervert: Hit on players that picked female heroes. Harass them constantly with bad pickup-lines, sexual jokes and innuendoes.

Go out of your way to kill them and gank them endlessly, finish with a “I bet you loved that didn’t you?” “That’s it, take my massive manly pillar of flesh into your dirty little pink hole.” and other variants of inappropriate rape exclamation.

Flirt nonstop on allchat, ask them for their email, facebook, xanga, myspace page. If they tell you to shut up and that they are actually guys, keep pestering them with a “Awww how cute, look, she’s shy. Don’t worry, let daddy show you the world of romance.” and other shitty lines.

Show your affection for them by dropping items for her. Drop branches and say they are roses for your dearly beloved. Farm up expensive items just to give it to her. Send her chickens.

If you have a hero that can screw up your team mates, do so when they attempt to gank/kill her and scream in all chat : “Lay off! That bitch is mine!” or ” You touch my girl again, and i’ll rip off your nutsack!” Give away your location and call her to meet you there. If you get ganked, say: “I died for you, my love!”.

If there are more than one female character, in all chat, keep talking about harems, group-sex and orgies. Invite them to have an orgy with you in the river or with Roshan. Call Roshan your buddy Jabrone. Keep talking about your dick size and when you kill people, innappriately yell out: ” ME, YOU, SEX, GOOD TIMES NOW!!!” or “Aww man, i just came all over your face, oh god, that felt great”

Follow them around all over the place by clicking on them, and continue to type stuff like “Our body and soul are as one, when you move, i move with you”, “We are joined together, my penis to your anus”, “I will never leave your side, or your rear., we will be together forever!” etc. If you get raped by chain frosted and die together, quote some Shakespear, call yourselves Romeo and Juliette, Tristan and Iseult or other famously tragic couples.

GOLDEN OLDY]

CHICKEN SWARM:
Sell all your equipment and buy a shit ton of chickens. Make chicken sounds in allchat while swarming them with chickens.

2009-01-16

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