10. — I would like to start off with this one. This guy was standing still at his tower for some time already and I was like “Purp, are you still playing?” and he told me to hold on a second. Why you ask?:
Gimme a min, my cat is drowning in our pond.
9. — The game was already lasting like 2hours because we all had end-game heroes. All of a sudden Dark Green decides to go AFK for a while, costing us the game. Right before azll of our barracks get destroyed he comes back saying:
Sorry guys, but there was a mouse in the kitchen and my mom was screaming like fuck so I went to scare it off.
8. — The game started with yellow saying “Yeah, I’ll be AFK for a minute.”. After 40 minutes he returned saying:
Yeah, i had to take my dog to the vet, his teeth were bleeding.
7. — Only thing I can say about this one, he was gettin owned and wanted something to unleash his frustration on… . At number 6:
Can we pause for a second, I want to kick my dog?
6. — We reached a certain moment in the game where every one of the team got a Monster Kill in like 2 minutes time. The dude on the other team said that we should stop it because it was annoying him. I was like “How can it annoy you?”. To which he said:
My stupid parrot just keeps on shouting “MMMMONSTER KILL” and it’s annoying the fuck out of me!
5. — This guy was playing Skeleton king and he was like constantly running right into our entire team while his allies kept on shouting “B U FARKING N00B” in All-chat. The guy replied with:
Sorry dudes, but my pet rat peed on my mouse this morning and now its malfunctioning.
4. — So this guy challenged me to 1v1 him. Since he was spamming me I got pissed enough to accept his challenge. We start playing (I randomed Slardar and he got QoP) and at a certain moment we meet in at the river (top rune spot) and I start attacking his hero. He also starts attacking me but doesn’t use any spells or anything… suddenly he pauses the game and says:
Gimme 2 minutes my dog won’t let go of my right hand.
3. — This dude was constantly pausing the game, lagging and all of that evil stuff, and finally I got sick and tired of it and asked him wtf was going on. His reply:
My cat is jumping on my keyboard.
2. — I was playing Zeus and decided to gank middle where the Low-hp Centaur was standing, looking cool. I started nuking him and to my surprise the dude didn’t move an inch. The reason:
My dog pissed against my chair and I slipped.
1. — We were pushing the scourge base and the “carrier” Drow Ranger was the only one on their team still alive to stop us. He managed to kill 3 of the heroes and ended up dying because he ran with Rupture on him. His excuse for making his hero do this:
OMFG a moth just flew against my face!