Things to say to a two-timing jerk

My poor friend suffered from a cheating bf who later broke up with her to be with this new bitch of his when she was over in US. And we were talking on msn, and she told me some of the things she told him. It was hilarious. And so here is a list of things to say to a cheating asshole

1) I was away for (insert number of months) and you can’t even keep your dick in your pants
2) I don’t really understand your email because of your grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Gosh. You and your new bitch really deserved each other.

And this one is given by me. hahahha.
3) I hope your conscious no matter how small allows you to sleep at night.
4) finally you have found someone of similar standards you can click with. I know it is hard to match up with me all the time. And I feel tired trying to match down with you too. Sigh
5) Finally you can stop being the toad that feeds on the swan’s flesh. I think this toad is suitable for you too.
6) FInally i don’t have to use the microscope to look at your little one anymore.

Quick, give me more inputs!!!