misery breeds misery

I don’t know why. I don’t think I am ever happy this year. I mean i can count happy moments but a long substained period of happiness, I don’t think I ever got it.

I was doing my work yesterday till my floodgates threatened to open and i was whining to mr fag while my tears started to roll down. And now I am in school feeling miserble again and crying for no apparent reason. Worse part is I can’t explained why i am so unhappy. I am just feeling unhappy.

I am trying to like what I am doing but why is it so hard?

And I am ashamed to say I am back on the pills. I got some funny and happy moments I want to blog sometimes but I can’t even emote those feelings out and the dark moments will be back again.