Dear Mr Carrey,
Can I call you Jimmy boy? Or just Jim? I’m certain you wouldn’t mind one bit since we’ve known each other for so many years, OKAY, or more specifically, I’ve known you for so many years. It all started when I watched The Mask, where you played that loser who somehow ended with a hot babe, I can somehow relate with that, but that’s another story.
Then follows Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, Batman Forever (where you played The Riddler, a role I thought was totally unfair for you, you should have been Batman!), The Cable Guy, Liar Liar, The Truman Show (you’re the original Justin.tv), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (love the costume), Me, Myself and Irene and Bruce Almighty.
I was totally your biggest fan, I see your name on any movie poster and I know it’s gonna be a winner. It’s got to be, you’re effing Jim Carrey!
Then I heard about your latest film, The Number 23 and saw the trailer, a part of me died. Is it supposed to be some kind of drama/mystery/suspense/thriller? Sorry Jimmy boy. Just one look at The Number 23 movie poster and I know this film’s not gonna make it. Your face have ‘comedian’ plastered all over it.
Like OMGWTFBBQ? You’re hugging this girl and looking at some non-existent shit, what’s the deal?
I know the world’s changing, so is the entertainment industry, and no one can remain the same forever but seriously Jimmy boy, you’re an exception. Stick with what you do best, comedy. Make fun of the retards, make fun of the shorties, make fun of the fatties, make fun of yourself, just come up with a effing comedy and I’ll be your most loyal slut.
Your (ex-)biggest fan