I am extremely excited at the prospect of working in Shanghai but something is holding me back. I am scared. Of what?
I am afraid to leave my family behind.
I am afraid that I will not get along with the other colleague (chances quite low)
I am afraid that I will fuck up my work there. But you know what, I am going there to break out of my comfort zone.
I have been considerably independent as compared to my peers, but I have not lived on my own. I always have my parents to depend on. I come running to my parents in tears when I am scared of ghosts. So what do I do when I am there alone? In a foreign land? I guess when the going gets tough, just grit my teeth and go through life. What doesn’t kills me just makes me stronger. Life certainly hasn’t been good to me but i think my life is fulfilling. I went through hard times but so does everybody else.
My aunt told me that my grandma’s blood pressure has shot up to 200 over. It’s fucking scary. I am going to try to visit her more often before she shifts to my auntie’s place which is rather far. I am afraid I will lose her when I am in Shanghai. Old people are rather stubborn. I have to try to convince her to exercise by doing it with her these last few weeks. I have been rather busy but then again, time is an excuse alot of us used to do other unimportant things in life. How often we have no time to visit our parents/grandparents but will squeeze in time to meet our friends or go for a movie? Our priorities are fucked.
I am glad of the opportunities my boss gives me even before I go over to shanghai. I have been working on a project and now she is asking me to be her assistant for that project. Hopefully I will be shuttling between Hongkong and Shanghai. I think I am immensely lucky.2007-03-18