feelings a few days ago

There is so much one can take with regards to work. I mean I am feeling the resentment towards work and the person allocating the work to me. I got so much to do, its hilarious that I am paid a pantry $650 bucks. I was told ONCE AGAIN to clear like almost 30 items to 50 items within this week. All the time, I spent gathering information for my mentor means less time to do my 30-50 items worth of work. I will be doing some work which was allocated and within 3 minutes told to get some other information and then this continues for like 2 hours with MORE and MORE work. I know I am supposed to clear as much work as possible but this is getting ridiculous. I am so OVERWHELMED now, I have to blog to let steam off. I don’t even know what to start on first. It is already 10.15 pm and my mood is getting darker.

I feel so envious of the other interns when they told me they get to knock off before 8pm. And here I am clearing so much work, feeling so much stress, fucking myself up. Why the hell did I even want to do this internship? I really fuck myself up all the time.

I will be alone for 2 more days (what’s new!). I compare myself to other interns and non of them are being thrown at the client alone, or given 4-5 times the amount of work they can handle, ot enough to get 3 weeks of leave. Somehow, I feel god must have spent a little less time on me. 

2007-02-09

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