argh!

Okay, I am really in a bad mood now. Really bad mood. It only takes a whisker to set me in a fury. Firstly, I am sick of being so committed to so many things. I got my health to worry about and my cough is not getting any better but tuition sessions are all lined up back to back cause they are having their exams or whatever shit. My mother told me to sleep early but then who is going to do my work for me?

I got project work to do and I can’t tell my project members I am not going cause I am sick. Project mates aren’t that understanding especially since we don’t really know each other yet. And I don’t want a bad rep in school about my shoddy work or tardy attitude. Words spread around fast.

I don’t really want to go to a place tmr but because me and my big mouth has promised my friend, I had to cancel tuition because project work cropped up to go to a place where we don’t know the exact location. How nice.

In the end, I shifted my tuition to 8 am tomorrow and it will end at 11 am and then I have to be in sch at 12 noon to sit in for 6 hrs lessons before going to celebrate a birthday of Miss Pooh. And I don’t even like to eat steamboat.

I am really sick of doing things I got to do because I have to and not because I need to.

I am upset at being left alone for the IMF thing. Miss Eloquent wanted to join and me being a friend decided that I should join also. Then I was asked to sent an email on her behalf to the school which resulted in the school calling me. Which resulted in me confirming with the school that I can make it for all 10 days of IMF event. And then she happily inform the school that she has classes on some day (wtf, we have classes every week), and she is out. Leaving me ( who joined this whole IMF thing because she wanted to join ) stranded alone. That’s for being a friend. So I have to smile happily at all the delegates while feeling screwed and upset. But I will do alright. After all I am good at smiling even when I feel like crying. I am missing 3 weeks of one class. That’s about 25% of the school term. I feel depressed thinking about it. And it is not that easy to get out of this mess. Cause I can’t inform the school that I can’t make it anymore. That will be irresponsible and I will feel even more fucked up if the situation goes out of control.

So the moral of the story: I refuse to join any fucking activities that my friends asked me to join. For fuck? In the end, I will be doing it alone. So much for friends.

2006-08-30

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