I am halfway through a publication initiated by Elim Chew of 77th Street. Basically this is a little book written by the youths around Singapore. In total, there are 77 entries in all, 77 voices. The book title is ” my voice. my inner voice never heard. never told.”
The things the youths wrote was heart-wrenching. Growing up can be so much pain. Sometimes the parents are the cause of the pain. There were many I Love You Mum and Dad entries in the book, which in real life many children refrain from saying to their parents. Reading the book made me realise how fortunate I was compared to the rest. I initially wanted to write down one entry from the book everyday here but I will be violating copyrights so I will just put some entries here only. I have no idea where the book is sold. I saw it on a yahoo auction though.
No one wants to be lonely,
No one don’t want to be popular,
No one don’t want to have no partners.
There is always a problem
to have all this together
Some people have all of it,
Some people don’t have any.
I am one of them.
Ke 18 Male
I went for an abortion. I hope I can tell you someday its hurting me but I have no choice
RL 17 Female
My father always look down on me always think I’m useless. I didn’t do anything wrong or what. It feel very hurt that my own father don’t even support me or encourage. It really make my life sux.
Sce 17 Female
I have a very hardworking mother. She works as a hawker from day to night but she never ever complains that the job is tiring. Each day when she returns home, her body smells of sweat. I would like to show some care and concern. But I really don’t know how to express myself.
Sometimes because of my unreasonable behaviour, I quarrel with her. Maybe because she is a good mother, I always blame myself for scolding her.
I really don’t want to make her angry. Sometimes I would like to apologise but in the end, I don’t. So, I would like to make use of this opportunity to tell her, ” I love you, Mum.”
Name and age not given
Hope she will be out of prison soon. I wish to see her as soon as possible. I every miss her. I have not seen her for a while. I want to tell her I love her. I do not dare to tell her.
Oy 14 Male
After reading all these voices, I wanted to help this children. I know I can never be like Saboon who wants to help children at family service centres as a social worker even though she knows that her pay will never be as high as a medical social worker. Of course reading this made me think of the teenage days. My experience can never be as sad as the other 77.
I remember being a very insecure child when I was young. I guess it must be the middle child syndrome and I was the perfect case study of it. I craved for love and acceptance like everybody else but even more so.
When you are searching for love from family and you can’t find, you will try to gain acceptance. One of the best ways was to excel in studies. I was the bright kid. The smart one in the family. I am like Adeline Yen-Mah in the book Fallen Leaves who strived in her studies.
The young days had me trying to be well-liked by my peers. Fitting in. I did alot of that. I remembered trying to be the perfect daughter in front of my friends’ parents. To gain acceptance maybe.
Mrs Lim Female
What is your voice? Email me at [email protected] and i will publish it.2006-02-17