Tips on saving money

I will be declared bankrupt soon. I do not have the guts to look at my bank account. I am praying hard that there is at least a hundred bucks in there. This hundred bucks together with the 50 dollars cash is supposed to last me through the end of the month.

150 for 3 weeks is alright if I am a hermit with no friends to go out with and no xmas presents to buy for.

Alas, I am not.

This meagre 150 bucks have to survive through
1) 4 jewellery boxes
2) a xmas lunch
3) maybe a xmas dinner
4) clubbing at MOS prelaunch party
5) one more clubbing outing at the end of the month at zouk
6) a xmas dinner organised by me and some other people.
7) dinner outings
8) a birthday dinner which I have to chip in to treat.

Unfortuately my 150 bucks are in sing dollars and not in pounds or greenbacks.

Thus to stretch my money by a lot, I have devised the following plan

MRS Lim’s tips on stretching your dollars to the max

1) For xmas presents, since you are already broke beyond belief, you are entitled to subsitute wood for some cheaper materials. Go to Ikea to look for innovative gifts. A dustbin or a can of insectiside is a fantastic gift for an enemy

2) Declare your poorness to your friends. Hopefully someone will take pity on you and treat you to dinner. Or else, force all your friends to eat at cheap places with you. Although they may seemed irritated at forsaking their expensive sushi, they are secretly glad that they are not the first one to suggest such a cheapo place. Too bad friend, no money means no pride.

3) Eat at home before you turn up for xmas lunch and dinner. Thus, order some dessert instead and share it with a friend who is probably too full after eating a main course. This is of course a fantastic strategy to eat more of the dessert despite paying half the price.

4) If you die die have to stay out late to club, ensure that there is someone who drives and do not mind sending you home. Taxis are damn expensive. Thus invite generous friends to club with you. ( Mrs Lim is abit unfortunate in this sense since her friends are penny-pinchers) Anyway the more people( drivers) the more fun!

5) If you die die have to club, go to clubs on ladies night where there is free booze. As for transport home after midnight, please refer to point 4. ( applies to ladies)

6) Be a loanshark. Go and hound those people who owns you money. Miss Eloquent owned me A dollar which I collected back today. One dollar is legal tender and is still money ok!

7) If you are really desperate for free dinner and do not mind some nasty company, you can go to the date with the stalker who has been smsing you 45678909 times since he saw you a month ago. ( applies to ladies )

8) be a hermit and reject all outings. ( which is what I have been doing. I rejected a cycling outing and a dinner. )

9) Birthday dinners are tricky business. It is rude not to turn up when you can and definitely against my principle. However, you can get around this problem and save some money by suggesting steam boat at somebody’s face. Not to mention that the food will be much healthier and of course cheaper.

My pay is all coming in early Jan. For once, I hoped the new year will come soon. ( this past year, my luck was tremendously bad. Time to wash off the bad luck and have a positive cash flow.