Tips on braving the Xmas performances

Tis the season where most of Singaporeans will head to Orchard to bask in the christmas shopping.However there are various performances put up to enhance the shopping experience.

However with the raving crowds, it might be a tad difficult to catch the performance of that hunk you saw on stage.

To get the best view of the stage and catch the eye of the cute performer from stage, pls follow the following instructions.

To get the best view of the stage
1) Wear a pair of 7 cm high heels.
2) Rest yourself on your friend since you are now almost half a head taller than them.
3) Know the schedule of the cutie’s performance and be there 1/2 hr before hand

Now to catch the eyes of the cutie on stage
1) Raise your hand no matter whenever they ask a question. Singaporeans being Singaporeans will not raise their hand even when the cutie asked the crowd who is from Singapore. You will be the only one who raised your hand.

Success rate: 100%
side effects: aplenty. Refer to Side Effects Appendix

Side Effects Appendix

Immediate
1) Pain
2) slightly sprained ankles

Long Term
1) Pain even on the next day

Not so expected surprises
1) seeing a woman’s bra cup although she was not wearing a loose or low-cut top.

Now, I know why tall guys always love to gloat about their height. The view is definitely different from the top.

2005-12-24

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