Change of plans

I screamed at my kid today. I never got so agitated before to the point that I shouted at him for 1 full hour non-stop. I felt my blood pressure rising.

A break for me to get some fresh air before continuing would have been good to both of us. But unfortunately I can’t.

I guess it is the fact that he doesn’t know what LCM is which I have taught him previously a few years ago.

I guess it is the fact that he still did not understand when I explained it to him for about half an hour a concept which he has been learning for a couple of years.

I guess it is the fact that he did not complete his homework.

I guess it is the fact that his handwriting is so untidy even when I scolded him about it many many times.

I guess today my threshold limit just broke and I totally lost it.

After the 1 hour screaming match with me losing my head and cool and the poor him being subdued into a scared kid, I felt bad. Totally guilty that I lost my cool.

I guess the more emotionally involved I am with my charges, the more I will lose my cool when I teach. Like how I can be totally nice to people who do not matter at all.

I will bake him a ultra gingerbread man or muffin for xmas.

After the tiring session which ended, I went to do some xmas shopping. My inital plan was to proceed down to ikea to search for my wooden boxes but the weather thought that rain will be a game plan instead. Darn!

After spending 2 hrs looking aimlessly for my wooden boxes, I gave up and decided that I shall give commercial presents this year. No handmade presents for this year except for whatever I am baking.

I bought a dress too for myself since the party I am organising has a dress code which is a dress. Only 6 bucks for the dress so I can’t resist at all although I am poor.

And I shopped by myself alone. I need some time alone to myself.

PS: Metro Woodlands has a super friendly salesgirl ( temp staff ) which greeted me the moment I entered. Kudos to her.

2005-12-18

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